Down Under

It's more than just the title of a Men at Work song.

My time down under has pretty much come to an end, but thankfully I managed to visit at least one area used in the filming of Crocodile Dundee - the beautiful Kakadu National Park. I also saw plenty of crocodiles, like this bad boy here:

I've enjoyed my time in Australia. It's a big place, obviously, but with just 20 million people it can feel pretty provincial. And with mostly all of them living near the coast I keep being reminded of Bognor Regis, just with bronze surfers, yellow sand and a hotter sun. For example, one of the best pieces of real estate on Bondi Beach houses the Australian version of the British Legion. On the stunning Byron Bay, half the beach was smoking pot while the other half was having some kind of swimming competition. While Melbourne must be the best preserved Victorian city in the world.

This apparent provincialism extends to Australian politics too. The level of political debate here is really low - at about the level of "does my honourable friend agree that he is a bastard". As an Australian that I asked about this put it, you get what you deserve - people here respond to the lowest common denominator (usually immigration scare stories, aboriginal stereotypes, and people not doing their "fair share") and so politicians push those buttons. But I think it goes deeper than that - a lot of politicians here are corrupt hypocrites, and the ones that aren't are just hypocrites. Like the new Premier Kevin Rudd, who was elected on a tide of apathy and cautious optimism. On his first day he ratified the Kyoto Protocol, then the following week it chose an SUV as his official car.

People here despair, grumble and then forget about it. Maybe this bothers me cos it reminds me so much of home...

But there are some positives, like the recent apology to the "stolen generation" of aboriginal kids who were relocated to foster parents and boarding schools. This was dismissed as a largely symbolic gesture by some, but it wasn't symbolic to the many victims who are still alive (the policy only officially ended a generation ago) and on the day it united white and black Australia. Proof perhaps that Australians might be ready to face up to their past. Or at least the more palatable bits.

Anyway. The country itself, of course, is absolutely beautiful. I came expecting golden beaches and red desert but I've spent the last month gawking at mountains, rainforest, limestone cliffs, tropical wetlands, sandstone gorges, dried salt pans... And I've still done bugger all of the things that I wanted to.

And to be honest the people aren't bad either. How can you dislike a people who've come up with place names like Lake Disappointment, Cape Catastrophe, Misery Beach, and Mount Nameless. Some people say that (white) Australia's monocultural, but I've counted at least three. Sure there's the suburbanites who live near the coast (about 90%), but there are also crazy people in the outback and crazy people in the tropics. These last two groups meet in the Northern Territory - Australia's "1%" with just 200,000 people in an area more than twice the size of France. I think that most people here are escaping from something (or someone - which would explain all the facial hair). But they do have a great sense of humour. Like these two gems:

Why did the snake cross the road?
Same reason the chicken did.

How do you know if you're eating kangaroo?
Cos it tastes like wallaby.


Ithankyou!